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Is ‘Better Late Than Never’ Best? Woes of A Wanderer: Moving Abroad After 30

Is 'Better Late Than Never' Best? Moving Abroad After 30: Black woman in a hammock in Bacalar, Mexico

One thought that has remained constant the last year+ of my life is “I wish I’d done this sooner. I wish I’d pursued my passion and moved abroad much much sooner”. To pacify myself, I always insist that it’s better late than never.

But is it really? Because, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wake up some mornings by the sound of the tick tock from my biological clock. Then, just when the thought seeps into my mind that “Ahhh…I have time” and I nestle back into that nice comfy space, the alarm blares again, jolting me back to reality.

I’d also be lying if I said my uterus doesn’t go pitter patter every time I see a baby, or every time I walk into my classroom of sniveling, snotty, yet undeniably adorable 3 year olds.

I want babies. I want to settle down. But, I also don’t see myself giving up this expat life any time soon (a hot European guy would solve all these problems…just saying. Where ya’ll at?). Ahhh the woes of a wanderer.

Marriage, babies, retirement plans…all thoughts that consume me as a 30-something living abroad (who am I kidding, these are thoughts that consumed me in the states, now they just consume me in a more exciting country).

Despite all of this, I’m somewhat glad to have waited until I was 30 to move abroad. Here’s 3 reasons why:

I know me

I’m more sure of me. Who I am. What I desire.

Do I have life all figured out? HELLL no! But, I’ve been around the block a time or three and there’s a level of knowing and assuredness that you often don’t discover until you’ve lived a little.

I know what I like, what I don’t like. My non-negotiables. What I’m willing to settle for and what I’m not. Moving abroad after 30, you have you just a little more figured out and it’s easier to navigate your journey, because you understand that it is YOUR journey and no one else’s. Not your friends. Not your parents. Yours.

Peer pressure? What’s that?

Moving overseas after 30 means you’re over that stage in your life where you feel pressured to do things you may not necessarily want to.

For instance, one time I watched a girl (in her 20s) get pressured into going clubbing in Morocco, even though she expressed that she was scared to. She went back and forth defending her desire to not want to go, yet her friends kept pressuring her to “live a little”, because after all how many chances would she get to party in Morocco?

The next day at breakfast everyone questioned why she never showed. She explained and re-explained that she’d fallen asleep. They gave this girl the hardest time. But, that’s just it, when you reach a certain age your f*cks fly out the window, and trying to make up excuses to placate other people is trash. I’m not going because I don’t want to. End of story.

Friendships hit different

Speaking of peers, moving abroad after 30 means you will likely gravitate towards a more mature crowd, not the 20-somethings that want to get sh*t faced and blackout drunk every night of the week and living off instant ramen noodles. From my experience, the 30+ expat communities are a more established crowd. They’ve either worked in corporate, or run their own businesses. They still know how to have a good time with the best of ’em, but they are also about their business.

Friendships carry a different type of weight when you’re older. They are not fleeting. You find your people and those are your people. And for me, if they are not my people, then I don’t try to force relationships or hang out with them because I feel like I should because they are only one of a few expats in the city. Nope. Nobody has time for forced relationships and fake friendships. We’re too old for that. But, 20-something Colby, definitely would’ve tried to “hang in there” for hang out sake.

My people in South Korea 2015

My other person in South Korea (pictured in Boracay, Philippines) 2015

My person from Madrid, Spain (pictured in Sarajevo, Bosnia) 2016

My people in Merida, Mexico 2019

So, is 30 too old to move abroad? Absolutely not! Is better late than never, best? In this case, absolutely! There is no “ideal” time or right time to move abroad or to do anything in life for that matter. Don’t feel like you have to live life according to other people’s timelines. Live life how you see fit, when you see fit, and if moving abroad after 30, after 40, after 70 is what you want to do, then do it! Live your life on your terms. All you have to do is decide and everything else will figure itself out.

What questions do you have about moving abroad after 30? Drop them in the comments below!

P.S. I first started this post October 19, 2016, almost 4 years and 2 foreign residences later, I’ve finally pulled it out of the archives and finished it.

Is 'Better Late Than Never' Best? Moving Abroad After 30

  • Scott Straatmann

    Thank you very much for this post! I am 30 and in the process of wanting to move to Prague next summer which would make me 31. The fear of leaving a decent paying job and selling my house to follow this dream has got me anxious to say the least! No more house investment, or no more building my 401k for retirement. Do I really want to come back home and feel like I’m not 5 or more years behind the rest? Fears that I feel could haunt me later in life. But what might haunt me more is not living my dream to live abroad and experience new cultures and meeting new people from different walks a life. I see my age as the numbers on a clock and the years are just ticking away. Sharing experiences like you have and sharing the same worries as me makes me feel a lot better about it all. So many fears of the unknown that should be redirected as excited of the what’s to come!

    May 12, 2021 at 11:49 am Reply
  • Abby H.

    I’m 36 now and first moved abroad when I was 29. I have no regrets either, although making the leap a few years earlier would have worked, too. Oh well!!

    November 2, 2021 at 4:26 am Reply

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